You need to be aware of yourself before you can resolve a conflict.

NYLT_Ken Strongman 09 aware
aware of yourself

If you are upset or angry, it affects how you relate to others.  You must be aware of your own emotions.  We all have them, so don’t deny them.  If necessary you may need to call a time-out to let your own emotions cool down.

It is not just having an understanding of your own emotions.  I know that my mediations do not go well if I have a personal distraction.  The distraction doesn’t have to have anything to do with the situation at hand.  It could be something simple like I have less that a quarter of a tank of gasoline in my car, or more complex like there are difficulties at home.  

Make sure that you have minimized all of your personal distractions.  Be neutral and level headed.  Be aware of your own emotions.  If you are a team leader confronting conflict, you need to keep track of the team’s vision along with your own emotions, wants and desires.

Finally, if you own the cause of the problem, you may not be the best to resolve the conflict.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders.  Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution.  This blog is adapted from my training materials. 

 Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman ( has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.