Thanksgiving Conflicts: Navigating Family Gatherings with Grace - Ken Strongman, Esq.

Picture this: the scent of a perfectly roasted turkey fills the air, the table groans under the weight of delicious dishes, and loved ones gather to celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s a heartwarming image, but let’s be honest—Thanksgiving can also be a recipe for potential conflicts, turning your festive feast into a battleground of differing opinions, diets, and traditions. But fret not; this blog is your guide to not only surviving but thriving during Thanksgiving. From debunking Norman Rockwell’s idyllic depictions to handling dietary dilemmas and steering clear of political debates, we’ll show you how to keep the peace while cherishing the holiday spirit.

Thanksgiving conflicts can reduce anyone’s ability to be thankful. Some people refer to Thanksgiving as forced family time, making it ripe for all kinds of potential conflicts. To minimize or avoid conflicts on the big day without lowering your expectations of being truly thankful, consider the following:

Realize that Norman Rockwell was a fraud. His famous Thanksgiving painting is a total fantasy. People have told me that when he painted it, each of the models posed separately, so naturally, they appeared happy. They were not in the same room with the others, and they obviously didn’t have to eat the food. They couldn’t because it had to remain for the next model.
Speaking of food, for all of those who have recently converted to a vegan diet or just discovered some new exotic diet, or have any dietary restrictions based on health, the only statement on the subject you can make is (with a smile) – “No, thank you” while you are passing the plates.
Thanksgiving is not the time to proselytize anyone to a life free of all the cholesterol-choking, cancer-causing food on the table. Yes, stress causes heart attacks, but stress doesn’t come from always eating the wrong foods; it also comes from people reminding (nagging) you not to eat certain foods.
For those of you on a diet at Thanksgiving and can’t see anything on the table the diet will allow you to eat, and you still want to be true to your diet, just remember you do want to lose weight, so not eating anything would still be a good thing.
Speaking of proselytizing, Thanksgiving should be a time to be thankful that we are blessed in this country with the privilege to not have to talk politics 365 days a year. Thanksgiving is the time to eat the turkey and to stop talking about the turkeys running the country.
Realize that everyone does not have to do the same thing all the time. For some (or a whole lot of people), cheering on their favorite football team with family and friends is just as much a bonding experience as other activities. Let them watch the game. At least half the population will be truly thankful their team won. Being thankful is what it’s all about.
Some may want to watch football, others might want to play a game of football, and others still may want to go out and change the water pump on a car. That’s OK! Chill out! Be thankful they are all here and having fun.
Thanksgiving is not a time to be thankful for your holiday cruise to the Caribbean, new car, house, job, or any other material thing. Be thankful for the little things: breathing, the sunrise, food on the table, and laughter. We are all social people and never truly get along with each other. If there were no conflict, we wouldn’t be human, and we need to be thankful that we are human.

So, let’s embrace the true essence of Thanksgiving and ensure that every moment is filled with gratitude, laughter, and cherished memories. Join us on this journey towards harmonious celebrations and share your tips for a conflict-free Thanksgiving in the comments below!

About the Author: Ken Strongman has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA and president of The Mediation Society.

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