Categories
Civil Engineering Conflict Resolution Mediation

Podcast – Mediation in Civil Engineering and Construction: what is the role of engineers?

Civil Engineeering

Podcast – Mediation in Civil Engineering and Construction: What is the role of engineers?

Recently, I was interviewed by Chris Knutson, P.E., regarding the role of engineers in mediation of civil engineering and construction projects. It was a lively interview considering that he is in Stuttgart, Germany while I’m in California.

Here’s the link to the podcast:
Web Down Load

iTunes link

The interview covered a wide rage of topics. The following is a more detailed question and answer:

What is the current legal landscape confronting engineering firms in today’s industry? Is there more or less litigation?

Most, if not all professional service contacts now contain clauses requiring mediation. All construction contracts that I’ve come across also contain clauses requiring mediation. For larger projects, dispute resolution boards are created at the signing of the contract agreeing on a process of mediation. A dispute resolution board is composed of at least three mediators selected by the parties of the contract to become familiar with the project and to provide mediation services for any dispute arising in the course of the project.
Aside from the contract, if there is a dispute that is litigated, the courts will encourage mediation. Though mediation is voluntary, the courts encourage mediation by saying, “Why don’t you try to mediate this case and come back in six months.”
Mediation doesn’t stop there. I do appellant mediations as part of my mediation practice. The appeals court will send the case back to mediation even after the parties have gone through a trial and have received a judgement.

What is mediation in the context of engineering design and construction? How is it different from litigation or arbitration?

1. In litigation you are going to the government i.e. the courts. A judge and jury that have no engineering exposure or experience will decide the case. This will occur after the project is complete. Your lawyers will control everything. You as the engineer will have little control over the outcome. You will do the litigation on their time schedule. It can easily take years to reach a resolution.
2. Arbitration I compare to private judging. You as the engineer do have a say in the naming of the arbitrators. The big advantage over litigation is the timing. It is much faster than litigation since the arbitrators are hired because they are able to hear the case on your schedule. The disadvantage is that as in litigation you have little control over the outcome. And there is no right to appeal the result.
3. In mediation you help to craft the solution and you can mediate at any time there is a dispute. In litigation and arbitration the project must be complete or the contract must be in breach before you can litigate or arbitrate.

What are benefits to the parties who participate in a mediation?

The best benefits to the parties with mediation is that they control the process and the outcome. It is significantly faster than litigation and considerably more economical than litigation.
Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Civil Engineering Conflict Resolution Mediation Speaking & Training

Podcast – How to use Mediation in Civil Engineering with the Engineering Career Coach

Civil Engineeering

Podcast – How to use Mediation in Civil Engineering with the Engineering Career Coach

I am excited to present my podcast interview with the Engineering Career Coach. With over 750,000 podcast downloads, they sought me out to explain how mediation is useful in the civil engineering and construction fields.

Here are the links to the podcast:

Click on the following –

Engineering Career Coach (Web Download)

ITunes

Here are some key points discussed in this episode of The Civil Engineering Podcast:

Differences between Mediation, Litigation and Arbitration

  • Mediation – You come together to craft the solution to the problem with the help of a mediator (may take 1-3 months)
  • Litigation – You go to the court and have a judge or jury solve your case (based on the court’s time schedule usually takes 5-6 years to come to resolution)
  • Arbitration – A private judging with arbitrators making the final decision and there’s no appeal (you have control over the time schedule)

Five major steps for engineers in the preparation of mediation:

1. Prepare yourself, your expectations, your realities, and your intent. Know what you want to communicate. Know what your goals needs and interests are in a solution. Do a risk benefit analysis of where you’re at in the process. Understand where the best and worst alternatives to negotiate a settlement would be. Develop some settlement scenarios: what can you live with, think outside the box. Recognize that the other side has interests, goals and needs as well.
2. Prepare your attorney. Define your issues with them. Prepare a decision tree. Find out how the attorney wants to represent and showcase you.
3. Prepare the opposition – their attorney, their adjusters, their decision makers.
4. Provide the decision makers all the information of what is really going on, and send copies of the mediation brief to other parties.
5. Prepare the mediator – educate the mediator.

Qualities of a good mediator:

1. Able to build trust and confide in quickly
2. Excellent interpersonal skills
3. Patience and sense of humor
4. Creativity in solving problems
5. Able to think outside of the box
6. Willing to do everything that he/she can to assist a settlement
Finally, almost all disputes are initially communication issues, but mediation can help get the communication going again and help to keep your project back on track.

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Arbritration Conflict Resolution Mediation

How do you persuade someone if you think you are right and they are wrong?

Ken Strongman xc03 persuade
Persuade they are wrong.

Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.

It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences .

How do you change someone’s mind if you think you are right and they are wrong?

We normally resort to the following: “You are, I’m afraid to say, mistaken. The position you are taking makes no logical sense. Just listen up and I’ll be more than happy to elaborate on the many, many reasons why I’m right and you are wrong. Are you feeling ready to be convinced?”

No matter the subject, this is the approach many of us adopt when we try to convince others to change their minds. It’s also an approach that often leads to the person you are trying to persuade to harden their existing position. Research suggests there is a better way. It is a way that involves more listening, and less trying to beat your opponent into submission.

Yale researchers, Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil suggested that in many instances people believe they understand how something works when in fact their understanding is superficial at best. They called this phenomenon “the illusion of explanatory depth”. They began by asking their study participants to rate how well they understood how things like flushing toilets, car speedometers and sewing machines worked, before asking them to explain what they understood and then answer questions on it. The effect they revealed was that, on average, people in the experiment rated their understanding as much worse after it had been put to the test.

What happens, argued Rozenblit and Keil, is that we mistake our familiarity with these things for the belief that we have a detailed understanding of how they work. Usually, nobody tests us and if we have any questions about them we can just take a look. Psychologists call this idea that humans have a tendency to take mental short cuts when making decisions or assessments the “cognitive miser” theory.

Why would we bother expending the effort to really understand things when we can get by without doing so? The interesting thing is that we manage to hide from ourselves exactly how shallow our understanding is.

This is a phenomenon that will be familiar to anyone who has ever had to teach something. Usually, it only takes the first moments when you start to rehearse what you’ll say to explain a topic, or worse, the first student question, for you to realize that you don’t truly understand it. Teachers often say to each other “I didn’t really understand this until I had to teach it”. Inventor Mark Changizi quipped: “I find that no matter how badly I teach I still learn something”.

How “Explain yourself” can be used to persuade others.

A research team, led by Philip Fernbach, of the University of Colorado, reasoned that the phenomenon might hold as much for political understanding as for things like how toilets work. They hypothesized that people who have strong political opinions would be more open to other viewpoints, if asked to explain exactly how they thought the policy they were advocating would bring about the effects they claimed it would.

Recruiting a sample of Americans via the internet, they polled participants on a set of contentious US policy issues, such as imposing sanctions on Iran, healthcare and approaches to carbon emissions. One group was asked to give their opinion and then provide reasons for why they held that view. They got the opportunity to put their side of the issue, in the same way anyone in an argument or debate has a chance to argue their case.

Those in the second group did something different. They were asked to explain how the policy they were advocating would work. They were asked to trace, step by step, from start to finish, the causal path from the policy to the effects it was supposed to have.

The results were clear. People who provided reasons remained as convinced of their positions as they had been before the experiment. Those who were asked to provide explanations softened their views, and reported a correspondingly larger drop in how they rated their understanding of the issues.

Therefore listening to detailed explanations regarding how their idea will work will soften their position at the very least.

**Why the picture of Cross Country runners?  It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line. 

 Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Conflict Resolution Mediation Speaking & Training

Don’t be afraid of anger – angry people can’t lie.

don't be afraid
Don’t be afraid.

Don’t be afraid of anger – angry people can’t lie.

The first step to resolve any conflict is to defuse anger.  But do not be afraid of anger.  An angry person can’t lie because anger is a primitive emotional response.  To lie, you must control your emotions and turn on your intellect.  So when someone is angry, whatever they are telling you contains some truth.  Beware that this does not stop good actors.  A good actor merely appears to be angry as they try to control the situation

There are several reasons for anger:

To vent. An angry person needs to let off steam and release the anger that may have been brewing for a long time.  To resolve the conflict you need to allow this to happen, but try to control it by reframing their issues. 

To get the listener’s attention. An angry person wants to know that you are paying attention.  Use good listening skills to demonstrate that you are paying attention.

To be heard. An angry person wants someone to listen to their point of view.  To resolve the conflict, you need to acknowledge the feelings you hear so that the speaker knows you appreciate how angry they are.

To be understood. An angry person wants someone to appreciate how they feel.  Therefore try to empathize with their experience so that they feel you understand the situation, and acknowledge their ‘right’ to feel the way they do.  This does not mean that you should agree with their justification.  You do want to remain neutral in the conflict and not pick sides.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders.  Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution.  This blog is adapted from my training materials. 

 

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Conflict Resolution

Thanksgiving Conflicts

Rockwell Thanksgiving Conflicts
Thanksgiving Conflicts – not! Just an unattainable Ideal

Thanksgiving Conflicts and How To Avoid them

Thanksgiving conflicts reduces anyone’s ability to be thankful. Thanksgiving is sometimes referred to as forced family time. It is ripe for all kinds of potential conflicts.  Here are some things to minimize or avoid conflicts on the big day without lowering your expectations of being truly thankful.    

·     Realize that Norman Rockwell was a fraud.  His famous Thanksgiving painting is a total fantasy.   I’ve been told that when he painted it, each of the models posed separately.  So naturally they appear happy.  They were not in the same room with the others and they obviously didn’t have to eat the food.  They couldn’t because it had to remain for the next model.

·     Speaking of food… for all of those that have recently converted to a vegan diet, gluten free, or just discovered the South Beach, North Beach or West Beach diet, or have any dietary restrictions based on health: the only statement on the subject you can make is (with a smile) – “No, Thank you!” while you are passing the plates.   

·     Thanksgiving is not the time to proselytize anyone to a life free of all of the cholesterol choking cancer causing food on the table.   Yes, stress causes heart attacks.  But stress doesn’t come from always eating the wrong foods, it also comes from people reminding (nagging) you not to eat certain foods. 

·     For those of you on a diet at Thanksgiving and can’t see anything on the table the diet will allow you to eat, and you still want to be true to your diet.  Just remember you do want to loose weight so not eating anything would still be a good thing. 

·     Speaking of proselytizing…Thanksgiving should be a time to be thankful that we are blessed in this country with the privilege to not have to talk politics 365-days a year.  Thanksgiving is the time to eat the turkey and to stop talking about the turkeys running the country or who what to run the country.

turkeys-2015
Be thankful that when you sit down for Thanksgiving next year the election will be over.

 

·     Realize that everyone does not have to do the same thing all the time.  For some (or a whole lot of people) cheering on their favorite football team with family and friends is just as much a bonding experience as other activities.  Let them watch the game.  At least half the population will be truly thankful their team won.   Being thankful is what it is all about. 

·     Some may want to watch football, others might want to play a game of football, other still may want to go out and change the water pump on a car.  That is OK!  Chill out!  Be thankful they are all here and having fun. 

·     Thanksgiving is not a time to be thankful for your holiday cruise to the Caribbean, new car, house, job, or any other material thing.   Be thankful for the little things: breathing, the sunrise, food on the table, and laughter.  We are all social people and never truly get along with each other.  If there was no conflict we wouldn’t be human and we need to be thankful that we are human.   

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Arbritration Conflict Resolution Mediation

How do you persuade someone if you think you are right and they are wrong?

Ken Strongman xc03

Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.

It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences .

How do you change someone’s mind if you think you are right and they are wrong?

We normally resort to the following: “You are, I’m afraid to say, mistaken. The position you are taking makes no logical sense. Just listen up and I’ll be more than happy to elaborate on the many, many reasons why I’m right and you are wrong. Are you feeling ready to be convinced?”

No matter the subject, this is the approach many of us adopt when we try to convince others to change their minds. It’s also an approach that often leads to the person you are trying to persuade to harden their existing position. Research suggests there is a better way. It is a way that involves more listening, and less trying to beat your opponent into submission.

Yale researchers, Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil suggested that in many instances people believe they understand how something works when in fact their understanding is superficial at best. They called this phenomenon “the illusion of explanatory depth”. They began by asking their study participants to rate how well they understood how things like flushing toilets, car speedometers and sewing machines worked, before asking them to explain what they understood and then answer questions on it. The effect they revealed was that, on average, people in the experiment rated their understanding as much worse after it had been put to the test.

What happens, argued Rozenblit and Keil, is that we mistake our familiarity with these things for the belief that we have a detailed understanding of how they work. Usually, nobody tests us and if we have any questions about them we can just take a look. Psychologists call this idea that humans have a tendency to take mental short cuts when making decisions or assessments the “cognitive miser” theory.

Why would we bother expending the effort to really understand things when we can get by without doing so? The interesting thing is that we manage to hide from ourselves exactly how shallow our understanding is.

This is a phenomenon that will be familiar to anyone who has ever had to teach something. Usually, it only takes the first moments when you start to rehearse what you’ll say to explain a topic, or worse, the first student question, for you to realize that you don’t truly understand it. Teachers often say to each other “I didn’t really understand this until I had to teach it”. Inventor Mark Changizi quipped: “I find that no matter how badly I teach I still learn something”.

How “Explain yourself” can be used to persuade others.

A research team, led by Philip Fernbach, of the University of Colorado, reasoned that the phenomenon might hold as much for political understanding as for things like how toilets work. They hypothesized that people who have strong political opinions would be more open to other viewpoints, if asked to explain exactly how they thought the policy they were advocating would bring about the effects they claimed it would.

Recruiting a sample of Americans via the internet, they polled participants on a set of contentious US policy issues, such as imposing sanctions on Iran, healthcare and approaches to carbon emissions. One group was asked to give their opinion and then provide reasons for why they held that view. They got the opportunity to put their side of the issue, in the same way anyone in an argument or debate has a chance to argue their case.

Those in the second group did something different. They were asked to explain how the policy they were advocating would work. They were asked to trace, step by step, from start to finish, the causal path from the policy to the effects it was supposed to have.

The results were clear. People who provided reasons remained as convinced of their positions as they had been before the experiment. Those who were asked to provide explanations softened their views, and reported a correspondingly larger drop in how they rated their understanding of the issues.

Therefore listening to detailed explanations regarding how their idea will work will soften their position at the very least.

**Why the picture of Cross Country runners?  It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line. 

 Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Arbritration Conflict Resolution Mediation

How to persuade others using guilt appeals.

Ken Strongman xc08 persuade
Persuade others

How to persuade others using guilt appeals

Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.

It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences. *

Guilt Appeals

All humans have an ingrained sense of justice. It is part of being human. We didn’t only learn it from our mothers. Though they learned to effectively use guilt appeals to persuade us to do what they wanted. All you have to do is to go to a pre-school play ground in any culture and the kids will be very forthright in pointing out why something is unfair. Therefore a guilt inducing suggestion of bad behavior and the solution – the recommended change that will restore the situation and relieve the guilt is common throughout the world in which we live.

What are the guilt appeals?

Guilt appeals are the pointing out of inconsistencies between behaviors and standards. In other words predicting how another person will be affected if the person fails to take a particular action.

Effectiveness

As guilt becomes more intense and explicit it becomes less persuasive.

How they work

First, focus on the problem – the guilt inducing suggestion of bad behavior. Then, second, the solution – the recommended change that will restore the situation and relieve the guilt. The downside of this method of persuasion is that there is significant risk of resentment anger and a desire to attach the message and messenger.

Why they work

Guilt triggers unpleasant feelings, which we want to relieve by making amends for our self perceived transgression. In other words, it is a normal human response.

*Stark, James H. and Frenkel, Douglas N., Changing Minds: The Work of Mediators and Empirical Studies of Persuasion (2013). Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, Vol. 28, No. 2, Pg. 263, 2013; U of Penn Law School, Public Law Research Paper No. 11-07

**Why the picture of Cross Country runners?  It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line. 

 Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Conflict Resolution Mediation Speaking & Training

The ingredients of any conflict – Feelings & Emotions

Conflict Resolution

All conflicts have similar ingredients. They may vary in degree but most are present in some way. The main ingredients are Needs, Perceptions, Power, Values, and Feelings and Emotions. Today, I am focusing on feelings and emotions.

Feelings and emotions – Many people let their feelings and emotions become a major influence over how they deal with conflict. Conflicts can also occur because people ignore their own or others’ feelings and emotions. Other conflicts occur when feelings and emotions differ over a particular issue.

I began with “many people let their feelings and emotions become a major influence…” In reality, all people have emotional responses to conflict. Some are just not being honest with themselves. Pride is a major driver of the emotions. Feelings and emotions impact the ability to resolve a conflict regardless of the value in dispute.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders. Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution. This blog is adapted from my training materials.

Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Arbritration Conflict Resolution Mediation

How to persuade others using fear appeals?

Ed Sias Invitational(Hidden Valley Park)Martinez CA
Persuading others to run

Persuading others using fear appeals

Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.

It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences. *

Persuade Using Fear Appeals

Being human, we all have fears. Fear of snakes, spiders, public speaking, etc. We have fears that no one likes us, or will accept us. These are not the fears that I use in a mediation to settle a conflict. Often we do have a fear of the future. What I do is to persuade by fear of the consequences of not settling. I describe in detail the threat and consequences of inaction at the mediation session. I also give each party reasonable assurance the threat can be averted through their conduct taken in mediation.

There is plenty to fear in not resolving a dispute in mediation. There is the financial cost of further endless litigation. There is the loss of time spent in litigation and just sitting around in court waiting.

There is a real fear in most people of having to testify in open court. Once in mediation, one party was shocked to learn that the opposition attorney would grill her and paint her as a liar ruining her reputation. There is also the loss of choice. And there is the fear of loss of control.

How it works

This is a form of direct persuasion. It works best when the threat is described in detail and there is guidance on the actions to be taken to avoid it.

Effectiveness

Appeals that generate the most fear can be the most effective, so long as they convey both serious problems and strong feasible solutions.

Why they work

This process triggers thoughtful appraisal instead of mere emotion, which can neutralize defensive avoidance mechanisms. It neutralizes defensive tendencies such as anger, overconfidence or denial that may be getting in the way of logical thought. It also triggers thinking both about the threat and the subject’s ability to avert it

*Stark, James H. and Frenkel, Douglas N., Changing Minds: The Work of Mediators and Empirical Studies of Persuasion (2013). Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, Vol. 28, No. 2, Pg. 263, 2013; U of Penn Law School, Public Law Research Paper No. 11-07

**Why the picture of Cross Country runners?  It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line. 

 Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Categories
Conflict Resolution Mediation Speaking & Training

Values – One of The ingredients of any conflict

Values
Values are important in conflicts

The ingredients of any conflict – Values

Values are important within any conflict.

All conflicts have similar ingredients. They may vary in degree but most are present in some way. The main ingredients are Needs, Perceptions, Power, Values, and Feelings and Emotions. Today, I am focusing on values.

Values are beliefs or principles we consider to be very important. Serious conflicts arise when people hold incompatible values or when values are not clear. Conflicts also arise when one party refuses to accept the fact that the other party holds something as a value rather than a preference. To resolve the conflict, clarify each party’s values.

Values influence perceptions and at times it is hard to distinguish the two concepts. In resolving conflicts, it is easier to equate the two in order to bring resolution. Just be aware that values influence perceptions.

Just looking at a common definition of the word will help: the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. Likewise – a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life. Useful synonyms: principles, ethics, moral code, morals, standards, code of behavior.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders. Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution. This blog is adapted from my training materials.

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.