In a world often mired in discord and disagreement, the art of active listening emerges as a beacon of hope, illuminating the path towards
Listening Is the Best Way to Resolve Conflicts
resolution and understanding. “Listening is the best way to resolve conflicts,” asserts Ken Strongman, a seasoned mediator.
The better the information you have, the greater your chances of finding a workable solution. Listen carefully to what others are saying, not judging until you hear everyone’s story. Be aware of tone of voice, body language, and other clues. Understand what each person is expressing – what they want and what they are willing to do to get there. Then clarify that the solution lies with all parties.
In the intricate dance of conflict resolution, active listening takes center stage, offering a conduit for genuine understanding and empathy to flow. Each word spoken, each nuance observed, serves as a vital piece in the puzzle of reconciliation. By heeding Ken Strongman’s advice to listen without prejudice, we open ourselves to a wealth of perspectives, paving the way for collaborative problem-solving and mutual respect to flourish.
Listen carefully to what others are saying without judgment until you have everyone’s side of the story. Clarify what you have heard and then re-frame it back to each party. Remember the solution lays with both parties not you.
As we embark on the journey towards resolution, it becomes evident that the path is not always smooth sailing. Yet, armed with the potent tool of active listening, we possess the means to navigate the turbulent waters of conflict with grace and efficacy.
In the realm of conflict resolution, the power of active listening knows no bounds. As you embark on your own journey towards resolution, remember to heed the invaluable advice of Ken Strongman: listen with intent, speak with empathy, and embrace the path of collaboration. For those seeking guidance through the maze of conflict, reach out to Ken Strongman today, and take the first step towards a future defined by harmony and understanding.
About the Author:Ken Strongman is a private commercial mediator/arbitrator of complex, high risk litigated cases since 2004. Disputes addressed include business, securities, construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, employment, environment, energy, and trusts & estates. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA and president of The Mediation Society. https://www.themediationsociety.org/
Picture this: the scent of a perfectly roasted turkey fills the air, the table groans under the weight of delicious dishes, and loved ones gather to celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s a heartwarming image, but let’s be honest—Thanksgiving can also be a recipe for potential conflicts, turning your festive feast into a battleground of differing opinions, diets, and traditions. But fret not; this blog is your guide to not only surviving but thriving during Thanksgiving. From debunking Norman Rockwell’s idyllic depictions to handling dietary dilemmas and steering clear of political debates, we’ll show you how to keep the peace while cherishing the holiday spirit.
Thanksgiving conflicts can reduce anyone’s ability to be thankful. Some people refer to Thanksgiving as forced family time, making it ripe for all kinds of potential conflicts. To minimize or avoid conflicts on the big day without lowering your expectations of being truly thankful, consider the following:
Realize that Norman Rockwell was a fraud. His famous Thanksgiving painting is a total fantasy. People have told me that when he painted it, each of the models posed separately, so naturally, they appeared happy. They were not in the same room with the others, and they obviously didn’t have to eat the food. They couldn’t because it had to remain for the next model.
Speaking of food, for all of those who have recently converted to a vegan diet or just discovered some new exotic diet, or have any dietary restrictions based on health, the only statement on the subject you can make is (with a smile) – “No, thank you” while you are passing the plates.
Thanksgiving is not the time to proselytize anyone to a life free of all the cholesterol-choking, cancer-causing food on the table. Yes, stress causes heart attacks, but stress doesn’t come from always eating the wrong foods; it also comes from people reminding (nagging) you not to eat certain foods.
For those of you on a diet at Thanksgiving and can’t see anything on the table the diet will allow you to eat, and you still want to be true to your diet, just remember you do want to lose weight, so not eating anything would still be a good thing.
Speaking of proselytizing, Thanksgiving should be a time to be thankful that we are blessed in this country with the privilege to not have to talk politics 365 days a year. Thanksgiving is the time to eat the turkey and to stop talking about the turkeys running the country.
Realize that everyone does not have to do the same thing all the time. For some (or a whole lot of people), cheering on their favorite football team with family and friends is just as much a bonding experience as other activities. Let them watch the game. At least half the population will be truly thankful their team won. Being thankful is what it’s all about.
Some may want to watch football, others might want to play a game of football, and others still may want to go out and change the water pump on a car. That’s OK! Chill out! Be thankful they are all here and having fun.
Thanksgiving is not a time to be thankful for your holiday cruise to the Caribbean, new car, house, job, or any other material thing. Be thankful for the little things: breathing, the sunrise, food on the table, and laughter. We are all social people and never truly get along with each other. If there were no conflict, we wouldn’t be human, and we need to be thankful that we are human.
So, let’s embrace the true essence of Thanksgiving and ensure that every moment is filled with gratitude, laughter, and cherished memories. Join us on this journey towards harmonious celebrations and share your tips for a conflict-free Thanksgiving in the comments below!
About the Author:Ken Strongman has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA and president of The Mediation Society.
Conflicts are an undeniable part of human existence, weaving their intricate threads through the tapestry of our lives. Yet, have you ever wondered why conflicts seem to have a recurring cast of characters, like the timeless ingredients in a beloved recipe? In the world of conflicts, needs, perceptions, power, values, and emotions dance together, creating a choreography that’s both complex and captivating. Join me on this journey as we uncover the secrets of these conflict ingredients. Discover how understanding them can bring resolution to your disputes, restore harmony, and transform discord into an opportunity for growth.
All conflicts share similar ingredients. These ingredients may vary in quantity, but most conflicts involve them in some way.
Needs – We have physical requirements essential to our well-being, and conflicts arise when we ignore others’ needs, our own needs, or the group’s needs. It is important not to confuse needs with desires, as desires are things, we would like to have but are not essential.
Perceptions – Humans interpret reality differently. They perceive differences in the severity, causes, and consequences of problems. Misperceptions or differing perceptions may stem from self-perceptions, others’ perceptions, varying perceptions of situations, and perceptions of threat. How something is framed affects its perception, so in conflict resolution, reframing becomes an important task to reach a solution.
Power – People’s definition and use of power significantly influence the number and types of conflicts that occur. This also affects how conflict is managed. Conflicts can arise when people attempt to make others change their actions or gain an unfair advantage, as this is a powerful human motivation. Everyone desires to establish or reestablish the perception of control.
Values – Values are beliefs or principles we deem crucial. Serious conflicts arise when people hold incompatible values or when values are unclear. Conflicts also occur when one party refuses to acknowledge that the other party regards something as a value rather than a preference. To resolve the conflict, clarify each party’s values.
Feelings and emotions – All people let their feelings and emotions significantly influence how they deal with conflict. Conflicts can also occur because people neglect their own or others’ feelings and emotions, and other conflicts may arise when feelings and emotions differ on a particular issue.
Are you ready to take the first step toward peaceful resolution? Contact Ken Strongman, our experienced Mediator, and let’s begin the dance of mediation to resolve your conflicts today.
About the Author:
Ken Strongman has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA and president of The Mediation Society.
How To Select a Qualified Commercial Mediator – pexels-fauxels-3182827
How To Select a Qualified Commercial Mediator. When it comes to resolving disputes in a commercial setting, mediation can be an effective solution that can help parties avoid the time and expense of litigation. However, selecting the right mediator is key to a successful outcome. Here are some tips on how to select a qualified commercial mediator:
Look for specialized training and certification.
While many mediators are generalists, it can be beneficial to choose a mediator who has specialized training and certification in commercial mediation. This can indicate that they have the necessary knowledge and skills to navigate the unique complexities of commercial disputes.
Consider their experience.
Experience is an important factor in selecting a mediator. Look for someone who has a proven track record of success in commercial mediation, ideally in your industry or field. Ask for references and check their professional background and experience.
Check for impartiality.
An impartial mediator is critical to the success of any mediation process. Make sure that the mediator you choose is neutral and has no conflicts of interest that could compromise their ability to remain unbiased. This can be particularly important in complex or emotionally charged disputes.
Evaluate their communication and negotiation skills.
A mediator needs to be an effective communicator, able to understand the needs and concerns of all parties involved and facilitate constructive communication. Strong negotiation skills are also important, as the mediator may need to help parties find common ground and reach a mutually agreeable solution.
Look for someone who understands your business.
Selecting a mediator who has experience in your particular industry or field can be beneficial. They will be familiar with the unique challenges and opportunities that arise in your business and may be able to offer insights and solutions that a generalist mediator may not be able to provide.
Consider the logistics.
When selecting a mediator, it is important to consider the practical details of the mediation process. This includes the mediator’s availability, location, and fees. Ensure that their availability aligns with your needs, that they are located conveniently for all parties, and that their fees are reasonable and transparent.
In conclusion, selecting a qualified commercial mediator requires careful consideration of a variety of factors. By choosing a mediator with specialized training and experience, strong communication and negotiation skills, impartiality, and an understanding of your business, you can increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.
For an experienced and qualified commercial mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your commercial dispute contact Ken Strongman. Here.
About the Author: As a professional Mediator and Arbitrator since 2004 Ken Strongman has years of experience and has successfully resolved disputes in the fields of Business/Commercial, Securities, Estates/Probate/Trusts, Real Estate, Intellectual Property, Construction Defects, Construction Contracts, Employment, and Environment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA. www.Finra.org
The Benefits of Commercial Mediation for Businesses of All Sizes – pexels-fauxels-3183172
Disputes and conflicts are an inevitable part of any business. However, commercial mediation provides an effective alternative to litigation that can help businesses of all sizes resolve disputes more efficiently and effectively.
Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that involves a neutral third-party facilitating negotiations between conflicting parties. In commercial mediation, a trained mediator with expertise in the specific area of conflict works with all parties to explore possible solutions and reach an agreement that satisfies everyone involved.
One of the primary benefits of commercial mediation is cost savings. Unlike litigation, which can be lengthy, expensive, and public, mediation is generally much less expensive and can often be completed in just a few sessions, making it a cost-effective option for businesses of all sizes.
Another significant advantage of commercial mediation is its ability to preserve relationships. Mediation allows parties to work together to find a mutually agreeable solution, which can help maintain or even strengthen relationships. This is particularly important for small businesses, where maintaining positive relationships with customers, suppliers, and partners is critical to long-term success.
Mediation can also be a faster way to resolve disputes than litigation. This can be especially beneficial for businesses that need to resolve a dispute quickly to avoid disrupting operations or to prevent further financial or reputational damage.
Finally, mediation offers businesses more control over the outcome of a dispute. This can result in more creative and flexible solutions that better meet the needs of all parties involved.
In conclusion, commercial mediation is an effective and efficient way for businesses of all sizes to resolve disputes. It offers cost savings, preserves relationships, is faster than litigation, and gives parties more control over the outcome. With these benefits, businesses should consider mediation as a first option for resolving disputes before turning to litigation. By utilizing commercial mediation, businesses can save time and money while preserving relationships and achieving mutually agreeable solutions.
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your commercial dispute contact Ken Strongman. Here.
About the Author: As a professional Mediator and Arbitrator since 2004 Ken Strongman has years of experience and has successfully resolved disputes in the fields of Business/Commercial, Securities, Estates/Probate/Trusts, Real Estate, Intellectual Property, Construction Defects, Construction Contracts, Employment, and Environment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
Future of Mediation – pexels-christina-morillo-1181406
Conflict is an inevitable part of human interactions, and it is vital to find a way to resolve conflicts to prevent them from escalating and causing more significant problems. For many years, litigation has been the go-to approach for resolving conflicts. However, over the past few decades, commercial mediation has gained popularity as an alternative dispute resolution method. Mediation involves a neutral third party who assists parties in reaching an agreement that suits their interests, without having to go through the lengthy and costly litigation process.
As we move into the future, commercial mediation is expected to play a more significant role in conflict resolution. Here are some of the reasons why:
Efficiency
One of the primary advantages of commercial mediation is its efficiency. Mediation allows parties to resolve their disputes quickly and with minimal costs compared to litigation. In the future, as businesses become more complex, and the number of disputes continues to rise, mediation will be a critical tool in resolving conflicts.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is another significant benefit of mediation. Unlike litigation, where court proceedings are open to the public, mediation is a private process. The confidentiality of mediation encourages parties to be more open and honest about their concerns and interests. This allows for a more productive discussion that can lead to a mutually beneficial resolution.
Flexibility
Mediation is also a flexible process that can be customized to fit the needs of the parties involved. In the future, as businesses become more diverse and operate in different parts of the world, the flexibility of mediation will be essential in resolving disputes between parties from different cultures and backgrounds.
Sustainability
Another benefit of mediation is its sustainability. Mediation allows parties to maintain their relationship and work together towards a mutually beneficial outcome. In the future, as sustainability becomes a more critical issue, mediation will be a valuable tool in resolving disputes while preserving relationships and promoting long-term collaboration.
Technology
Finally, technology will play a crucial role in the future of commercial mediation. With advancements in technology, mediation can be conducted remotely, making it more accessible and convenient for parties in different parts of the world. In addition, technology can help to streamline the mediation process, making it more efficient and cost-effective.
The future of commercial mediation in conflict resolution is bright. Mediation is an efficient, confidential, flexible, sustainable, and technology-driven process that can help parties resolve their disputes in a mutually beneficial way. As businesses become more complex and global, the need for alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation will continue to grow. The use of mediation can help to reduce the burden on courts, promote sustainable business relationships, and ultimately save time and money for all parties involved.
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your commercial dispute contact Ken Strongman. Here. www.kpstrongman.com
About the Author: As a professional Mediator and Arbitrator since 2004 Ken Strongman has years of experience and has successfully resolved disputes in the fields of Business/Commercial, Securities, Estates/Probate/Trusts, Real Estate, Intellectual Property, Construction Defects, Construction Contracts, Employment, and Environment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
Commercial mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes between businesses. It is a cost-effective and time-efficient way to settle disputes without having to go through the lengthy and costly court system. However, to ensure that your mediation session is successful, it is important to prepare adequately beforehand. Here are some tips on how to prepare for a commercial mediation session.
Understand the Mediation Process
Before you attend a mediation session, it is essential to understand how the process works. I as mediator, will act as a neutral third party to help the parties come to a mutually agreeable solution. The process will involve an opening session, private sessions with each party, and a closing session. Familiarize yourself with the process so you can understand what to expect and how to conduct yourself during the session.
Know your Facts
One of the most important things you can do to prepare for a mediation session is to gather all the necessary information and documents related to the dispute. Be prepared to present your case clearly and concisely to the mediator. This includes understanding the strengths and weaknesses of your position, as well as being able to identify potential solutions to the dispute.
Define your Goals
Before entering the mediation session, define your goals for the mediation. What do you hope to achieve from the session? Understanding your goals will help you to stay focused and on track during the mediation process. It will also help you to evaluate the success of the mediation session and determine if it was a good use of your time and resources.
Consider Different Solutions
As part of your preparation, consider different solutions to the dispute. This could include options for settlement, compromise, or other creative solutions that are mutually beneficial to both parties. Having a range of options to present during the mediation session can help to facilitate a quicker and more successful resolution.
Choose a Skilled Mediator
Finally, it is important to choose a skilled mediator, such as myself, who is experienced in commercial mediation. Look for a mediator who has a good reputation and who has successfully mediated disputes in the past. A skilled mediator can help guide the parties through the process, identify common interests, and help the parties reach a mutually agreeable solution. As such a mediator, please contact me to start the process of resolving your dispute.
Preparing for a commercial mediation session is critical to achieving a successful outcome. By understanding the process, gathering the necessary information, defining your goals, considering different solutions, and choosing a skilled mediator, you can increase your chances of a successful mediation session. Mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes and can help to maintain good business relationships between the parties involved.
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your commercial dispute contact Ken Strongman. Here.
About the Author: As a professional Mediator and Arbitrator since 2004 Ken Strongman has years of experience and has successfully resolved disputes in the fields of Business/Commercial, Securities, Estates/Probate/Trusts, Real Estate, Intellectual Property, Construction Defects, Construction Contracts, Employment, and Environment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
The Process – pexels-khwanchai-phanthong-4175023.jpg
Commercial mediation is a process of resolving disputes that arise in business transactions. It involves a neutral third-party mediator, such as myself, who facilitates negotiations between parties in conflict to arrive at a mutually acceptable resolution. Mediation is a flexible process that allows parties to explore various options for resolving disputes, and it is often faster, less expensive, and less formal than litigation.
If you are considering commercial mediation to resolve a dispute, it is essential to understand the process involved. In this blog post, I will walk you through the process of commercial mediation.
Pre-mediation
The first step in commercial mediation is pre-mediation. At this stage, the mediator and the parties involved will hold preliminary discussions to determine whether mediation is the right option for resolving the dispute. They will also discuss the logistics of the mediation process, such as scheduling, location, and fees.
Mediation agreement
Once the parties agree to mediate, the mediator will prepare a mediation agreement. This document outlines the ground rules for the mediation process, including the role of the mediator, the confidentiality of the process, and the commitment of the parties to participate fully in the process.
Opening Statements
At the beginning of the mediation session, the mediator will make an opening statement, explaining the mediation process and the role of the parties involved. The parties will also have the opportunity to make opening statements, outlining their position on the dispute.
Negotiation
The negotiation phase is the most critical part of the mediation process. The parties will engage in discussions, facilitated by the mediator, to explore possible solutions to the dispute. The mediator will help the parties identify areas of agreement and areas of disagreement and guide them toward a resolution that is acceptable to all parties.
Settlement agreement
Once the parties reach a mutually acceptable resolution, the parties will prepare a settlement agreement. This document outlines the terms of the agreement and is binding on all parties involved. The settlement agreement is a legally binding document and can be enforced in court if necessary.
Follow-up
After the mediation process, the mediator may follow up with the parties to ensure that the settlement agreement is being implemented as agreed. This is an essential step to ensure that the parties’ rights are protected and the dispute is fully resolved.
Commercial mediation is an effective way to resolve disputes in a timely, cost-effective, and collaborative manner. By understanding the mediation process, you can approach mediation with confidence and work toward a mutually acceptable resolution to your dispute. If you are looking for a quick and efficient way to resolve your business dispute, commercial mediation may be the solution for you.
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your commercial dispute contact Ken Strongman. Here.
About the Author: As a professional Mediator and Arbitrator since 2004 Ken Strongman has years of experience and has successfully resolved disputes in the fields of Business/Commercial, Securities, Estates/Probate/Trusts, Real Estate, Intellectual Property, Construction Defects, Construction Contracts, Employment, and Environment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
How to persuade others by orchestrating apologies?
How to you persuade others by orchestrating apologies? Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.
It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences. *
Orchestrating Apologies
Since most of my mediations are with parties that have on going relationships such as construction, business, and technology, I spend considerable time orchestrating apologies. In a business relationship reconciliation is necessary. To contradict the theme of the Godfather , “it is always personal and not strictly business”.
The time to orchestrate apologies can take several hours of effort. It is negotiation in itself. We need to find out what the offence is exactly. What form will the apology take? Who will apologize to whom? This includes who will be in the room when the apology is given. How much time will be allowed to deliver the apology and any response? And more importantly will the apology be accepted?
Once the time and effort is expended to orchestrate and deliver an apology, solutions to the problem often quickly come into focus. Often the amount in controversy drops quickly and precipitously.
Effectiveness
Apologies are more effective for a single transgression than for a series of transgression over time. But, in the event of a damaged relationship, there is tremendous potential for reconciliation and resolution of the conflict.
The effect of mere expressions of sympathy was dependent on the context. I avoid allowing this to happen. The punitive transgressor needs to know that they did wrong, what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Otherwise the other party could be offended and then dig in to their position if not deepen their position.
Full elaborate apologies are more effective that less elaborate ones. I spend effort setting the stage for the apology. It encourages reconciliation if both parties know what is going to happen.
The more serious the transgression or the greater the harm, the more elaborate the apology must be. This should be self evident. Sometimes, it is necessary to put the apology in writing and include it in the settlement agreement. Since the settlement agreement is usually confidential, there is no loss of face even if it is in writing.
Partial apologies can be unproductive or even counterproductive in the effects on the recipient. I do not encourage or allow partial apologies to take place. I’ve had the misfortune to have very good settlement blow up before they were signed because of a off-handed apology.
In case of less serious injuries less clear culpability or both, any apology even if complete may be better than none. Putting it simply, apologize for what you know you did wrong. Do not under any circumstances apologize for something you are not convinced was wrong. It is not a matter of assuming liability but the other party will not be convinced of your sincerity.
Full settlement apologies push plaintiff’s lawyers in a generally opposite direction. An apology executed correctly has a tendency to low the demands from the other side. If a plaintiff is on a contingence fee agreement, that will lower their pay day.
Why they work
Apologies helping disputants separate past (regrettable) acts from essential (positive) selfhood may be a highly effective form of self-persuasion. Apologies help resolve cognitive dissonance- dissonance effects are strongest (and self persuasion greatest) when actions are inconsistent with self concept of being a good person.
Risks
A successful apology requires skill and expertise. This can’t be emphasized enough. I spend considerable time testing the feasibility of an apology. I will even review it with the opposition before it is delivered.
How they work
If party accepts responsibility for causing injury to the other party, then the offended party makes more positive character related attribution towards the offender. Also, because of the regret, it changes assumptions about future behavior and expectations for the future relationship.
Apologies decrease anger towards the offender and increase sympathy for offender’s perspective especially if offender accepted full responsibility.
Presence or absence of apology affects on offenders parties ‘bottom line’ in legal negotiations well as the parties aspirations and opinion about what constitutes a fair settlement.
Recipients of apology reported less need to punish the other and greater willingness to forgive that those who did not receive apology.
Insincere apologies may actually cause people to react negatively.
*Stark, James H. and Frenkel, Douglas N., Changing Minds: The Work of Mediators and Empirical Studies of Persuasion (2013). Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, Vol. 28, No. 2, Pg. 263, 2013; U of Penn Law School, Public Law Research Paper No. 11-07
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your dispute contact Ken Strongman.Here.
**Why the picture of Cross Country runners? It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line.
About the Author: Ken Strongman, is a private commercial mediator/arbitrator of complex, high risk litigated cases since 2004. Disputes addressed include business, securities, construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, employment, environment, energy, and trusts & estates. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
Induced cooperation is a form of persuasion. Persuasion is the process of changing minds. Persuasion is an everyday part of human discourse. It is used by salesmen, parents, teachers, and many others – basically all of us. Persuasion in mediation is a two-way street. Long before you try to influence another to moderate their demands or consider the other side’s point of view, chances are good that they will have tried to convince you to their position.
It’s my experience in order to be an effective mediator, I must engage in various forms of persuasion. I do not engage in coercive or manipulative persuasion practices by which pressure brought to bear on reluctant participants to get a settlement. I do use a range of potential mediator interventions to help the parties resolve deeply held or competitively bargained differences. *
Induced Cooperation
In this form of self persuasion, parties work on a common task. These tasks are simple. I often conduct brainstorming sessions to generate all of the issues we need to resolve. It can also be a list of issues that there is an agreement. Conversely, it can be a list of where they do not see eye to eye.
They can be even simpler, such as a shared snack time. This is a time honored tradition in resolving conflicts. It could be a good reason why diplomats participate in a lot of social engagements. Sharing meals is central to the normal socialization in almost every community of humans.
How it works
This self persuasion works by getting the parties to work together and therefore build relationships and generate communication between each other. These can be very simple activities. I usually bring refreshments to the mediation. The act of sharing a meal builds relationships.
More commonly, while in joint session, I conduct some brainstorming activities. They might be a list of all that we need to accomplish before an agreement can be reached. In others, it could what areas or facts that both parties can agree upon. I would drill down to everything they could agree upon no matter how small.
Effectiveness
By keeping the conversation going, this may reduce demonization of the other party. Often they have been at odds since the complaint was filed which in our current day and age can be several years of no contact other than through attorneys.
This process appears to produce greater group cohesion and attitude change. It is a team building exercise. It is a team in search of a settlement agreement. The chief purpose is to generate more and effective communication in the group. When more ideas are verbalized, participates become more attentive to and accepting of other peoples views. Everyone becomes slightly friendlier with greater satisfaction with group process. It becomes a team building exercise with better coordination of effort and orientation to the achievement of the task. Furthermore, it reduces polarity. There is less focus on differences, greater focus on similarities and commonalities of viewpoints. There is increased ability to engage in flexible thinking and to find creative solutions generating reduced egocentrism and increased ability to take the perceptions of others.
How to use it
I used induced cooperation in all stages of my mediation sessions. And I will use it in any way I can. They more I am able to get the real parties to talk to me and more importantly to each other the more likely there will be a solution to the conflict.
*Stark, James H. and Frenkel, Douglas N., Changing Minds: The Work of Mediators and Empirical Studies of Persuasion (2013). Ohio State Journal on Dispute Resolution, Vol. 28, No. 2, Pg. 263, 2013; U of Penn Law School, Public Law Research Paper No. 11-07
For an experienced Mediator to help negotiate a resolution to your dispute contact Ken Strongman.Here.
**Why the picture of Cross Country runners? It takes a lot of persuasion to get them to the finish line.
About the Author: Ken Strongman, is a private commercial mediator/arbitrator of complex, high risk litigated cases since 2004. Disputes addressed include business, securities, construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, employment, environment, energy, and trusts & estates. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
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