Ken Strongman, Esq. – Mediator

Month: December 2012

  • Task #14: Looking at the previous two questions, where do you think THEIR perspective differs from your own.

    perspective
    As in Climbing keep your perspective

    Task #14: Looking at the previous two questions, where do you think THEIR perspective differs from your own.

    Looking at the previous two questions below, where do you think THEIR perspective differs from your own.

    • Task #12:  What important understanding did you think you had when you originally got involved together?
    • Task #13: In a dispute, how did the relationship change?

    The resolution of a dispute does not just occur on the day of the mediation.   Each participant to mediation needs to prepare their own strategy for negotiation in the settlement.  Based on my experience as a mediator, these are a collection of tasks each participant needs to complete and to discuss with their council and the mediator before the mediation.

    Your exercise now is to answer the same questions that you have worked through but from their point of view.   Maybe they think the honeymoon phase ended at a different time and way.  What was their vision for the future of your relationship at the beginning of the agreement?  How much money did they think they were going to make?  Was this agreement a stepping stone to something else?  Without trying to look at the problem from their point of view, will you both find a way forward?

    Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

    © 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

  • Listen for what is NOT being said.

    said
    Listening to what is not being said

    Listen for what is NOT being said

    Listen for what is NOT being said is counter-intuitive, but very important.  You need to find the elephant in the room.   Listening for what is not being said is the primary job of the mediator.  What we do is listen, clarify and re-frame.  We may notice trends that people embroiled in the conversation simply can’t see.   We give our impressions – not recommendations.

    Margaret Heffernan postulated this counter-intuitive idea by using the following re-framing questions:

    • If the conversation is being framed about money, consider what is not being talked about.
    • If everyone’s talking technology, what have they left out of their equation?

    the key component of a successful mediation

    Listening is most likely the key component of a successful mediation.  Everyone has to listen to all aspects of the conflict in safe surroundings.  That’s why I say that mediation is conflict at its best.

    Margaret Heffernan (born 1955) is an international businesswoman and writer. She was born in Texas, raised in the Netherlands, educated at Cambridge University and settled in the UK near the city of Bath.

    She is the author of five books: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman’s Manifesto about Business and What Really Matters, How She Does It (published in paperback as Women on Top), Willful Blindness: Why We Ignore the Obvious at our Peril, A Bigger Prize: Why Competition isn’t Everything and How We Do Better, and Beyond Measure – a short book commissioned by TED.

    While Heffernan’s first two books focused on these issues as they impact women in the workplace, her overarching theme has been the need to recognize and release the talent that often lies buried inside organizations, under-valued and under-rewarded because it is unconventional. Heffernan’s voice is primarily one of critical challenge, taking little at face value and regularly questioning received wisdom.

    Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

    © 2020 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.