Resolving conflicts through negotiation

 Conflict Resolution, Mediation, Speaking & Training  Comments Off on Resolving conflicts through negotiation
Oct 252017
 

negociationResolving conflicts through negotiation.

Resolving Conflict is a part of life. Negotiation is how conflicts are resolved. Hopefully, they can be resolved peacefully and to the satisfaction of both parties to the conflict. It is also part of any leaders skill set. Therefore, some of these blog postings will deal with ways a leader can help resolve conflicts.

I hope to provide useful information on:

  • Know and articulate several ways that good leadership can minimize conflict.
  • Understand how the acronym E.A.R. can be used as a tool for resolving conflicts (Express, Address, Resolve).
  • Use several communications skills important for resolving conflicts
  • Know negotiating skills to resolve conflicts for the benefit of all parties to the conflict.

All conflict resolution involves negotiation. Therefore as a starting point, let’s look at the definition and characteristics of negotiation.

What is Negotiation

Negotiation is a voluntary, non-binding bargaining process, in which the parties to a dispute attempt resolution among themselves.  Often, agents of the disputing parties (their lawyers, real estate agents, accountants, and so forth), who are in actual communication with each other, are the negotiators.  The actual disputing persons sometimes do not meet or participate in direct discussions until most, or all, of the dispute has been resolved.

Characteristics of Negotiation

The chief characteristics of negotiation are:

  • Mutual Consent. Negotiation is voluntary.  The parties cannot be compelled to negotiate or even negotiate in good faith.  Negotiations cease when one party declines to continue.
  • Successful Result is Enforceable. A negotiated settlement, usually memorialized in a written agreement, is as valid and enforceable as any common law contract.
  • The parties and/or their agents are in personal contact with each other.  A third party neutral is involved in negotiations.
  • No statute or case law governs the process of negotiation.  Some prefer to negotiate in person.  Others use letters, e-mail, or telephone calls.  Still others negotiate through agents or intermediaries.
  • Negotiation is a process, taking place over time, as opposed to a single meeting or a brief exchange of correspondence.
  • Negotiators share facts and arguments often in a disorganized manner.  Negotiators posture and obfuscate, misstate the law, rail and threat and bluff, implore and cajole, and mix fact with fiction, exaggeration, and lies, during a series of back-and-forth communications.
  • Negotiations are usually conducted in private.  Publicity is anathema to a frank exchange of opinions, offers, and demands negotiations.

 

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2017 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

A handy tool for resolving conflicts.

 Conflict Resolution, Mediation, Speaking & Training  Comments Off on A handy tool for resolving conflicts.
Oct 252016
 

conflict tool

Tool for resolving conflicts

A very handy tool for approaching any conflict situation that needs to be resolved is E.A.R. 

Ask the people involved to:

Express – What you want and what are you doing to get it.

Address – Why it is working or not working.

Resolve – What ways there are to solve the situation.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders.  Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution.  This blog is adapted from my training materials. 

 

 

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Mediators Playing the Devil’s Advocate

 Conflict Resolution, Mediation, Speaking & Training  Comments Off on Mediators Playing the Devil’s Advocate
Oct 182016
 

Devil's Advocate

Devil’s Advocate

Mediators Playing the Devil ’s Advocate

Devil’s Advocate is one of the roles of a mediator. A good mediator such as myself, does not forfeit his personal opinions simply because he serves as a neutral facilitator. These opinions and preconceptions can help inform certain beliefs. However, a strong mediator knows how to view a case from multiple angles. This is an important quality to possess as it helps provide a counter point to a party or attorney’s one-sided approach.

A Strong Mediator

A strong mediator gives consideration to the strengths and weaknesses of both sides. When in a private caucus with one side, the mediator may mention a potential weakness in this side’s argument. He may even ask the party what his or her argument would be if he or she was on the other side. He or she may get the attorney to contemplate the same scenario and ask for facts and legal theories that would support the other side.
By recognizing the strengths of the other side and the weaknesses of their own side, parties can start to contemplate the potential of what would happen if they lose. This can often inspire them to fully participate in negotiations so that they can avoid the possibility of losing the case or facing other adverse effects.

Sounding Board

Mediator is a “sounding board” for your arguments, and for offers/counter offers. I can deal with the hypotheticals and be a “coach”, to deliver bad news and explain opponents’ responses to offers. I, as a strong mediator give you an opportunity to explain the case to a neutral person help you and your attorney evaluate your case. Finally, a good mediator helps identify components of solutions from your stand point and delivers bad news to both sides.

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Listening is the best way to resolve conflicts.

 Conflict Resolution, Mediation, Speaking & Training  Comments Off on Listening is the best way to resolve conflicts.
Jul 192016
 

listening

Listening to resolve conflicts

The better the information you have, the greater your chances of finding a workable solution.  Listen carefully to what others are saying, not judging until you hear everyone’s story.  Be aware of tone of voice, body language, and other clues.  Understand what each person is expressing – what he wants and what he is willing to do to get there.  Then clarify that the solution lies with all parties. 

Listen carefully to what others are saying without judgment until you have everyone’s side of the story.  Clarify what you have heard and then reframe it back to each party.  Remember the solution lays with both parties not you.

**For the last decade I’ve been involved with leadership development of tomorrow’s leaders.  Using my expertise, I am training the youth leaders in conflict resolution.  This blog is adapted from my training materials. 

 

Ken StrongmanAbout the Author: Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator.  He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment.  He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.

© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

Pictures from “The Quest for Meaning of Servant Leadership”

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Jun 232016
 

National Youth Leadership Training

National Youth Leadership Training course or the Quest for the Meaning of Servant Leadership. We held it at Camp Wolfeboro, Arnold, CA.

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 After Staff Development our youth leaders were ready.100_5646

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Staff development was not all work and no play.100_5657

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With staff development completed they were ready to go lead and run the course.100_5667

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 1 at the entrance to Camp Wolfeboro 86 participants prepared to enter the camp and their individual quests.100_5769

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All 86 were broken down into patrols with other scouts that they did not know.100_5778

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thus they began their team development.100_5785

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each patrol had a well trained and knowledgeable Troop Guide.100_5787

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team problem solving happened almost 24 hours a day. Here it was the marshmallow challenge.

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How to build a tower out of a marshmallow and dried spaghetti.

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It was a lot of trial and error with each team.

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All the while learning about themselves and their patrol.

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There was success.

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Being Scouts lashing problems were next.

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All learning was placed into immediate action: build a chariot for racing the rest of the troop.

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Cooking and hospitality were used to put each patrol through the stages of team development. Here patrols had to invite others to dinner knocking before being recognized by the potential guests. This patrol kept getting bigger knockers.

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Problem solving and team building took different forms.

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Leaning about servant leadership occurred everywhere. 100_5889

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The blind tent challenge.

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Provisions were made by the youth staff for every kind of scout.

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Working the trolley.

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Leaders learning from other servant leaders.

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Singing is a team sport. The participant scouts often lead singing on their own. One patrol even wrote a original song explaining Servant Leadership.

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Final instructions.

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Each patrol presented what they learned to the entire troop in the form of songs or skits.

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A tired but enthusiastic NYLT Staff.

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The objectives of National Youth Leadership Training are:

  • Give youth the confidence and knowledge to conduct a youth-run program thus learning life skills
  • Train youth in all aspects of effective leadership, ranging from teaching skills to motivating an organization
  • Guide the youth through the stages of team development
  • Give youth the opportunity to share ideas and experiences with youth from other units.
  • Enhancement of the relationship between the youth and adults.
  • Create an environment of Scouting fellowship and fun guided by the Scout Oath and Law
  • Experience Scouting at its best.

How National Youth Leadership Training works

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this NYLT at Camp Wolfeboro.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the servant leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program.

For More Information: Boy ScoutsMt. Diablo Silverado Council, Wiki

Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the June NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

What’s happening at Leadership Training @ Camp Wolfeboro Today: Day-6

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Jun 182016
 
Leadership Staff Completely Trained.

Leadership Completely Trained

Day-6 of National Youth Leadership Training

This is Day-6 of the first week of our National Youth Leadership Training course. Returning from their night away in the wilderness, they are putting it all together. They will be sharing their team quests with the troop and their personal visions with their own Scoutmaster before they return home.

 

Objectives

The objectives of National Youth Leadership Training are:

  • Give youth the confidence and knowledge to conduct a youth-run program thus learning life skills
  • Train youth in all aspects of effective leadership, ranging from teaching skills to motivating an organization
  • Guide the youth through the stages of team development
  • Give youth the opportunity to share ideas and experiences with youth from other units.
  • Enhancement of the relationship between the youth and adults.
  • Create an environment of Scouting fellowship and fun guided by the Scout Oath and Law
  • Experience Scouting at its best.

How National Youth Leadership Training works

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this NYLT at Camp Wolfeboro.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program.

For More Information: Boy ScoutsMt. Diablo Silverado Council, Wiki

Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the second week of NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

What’s happening at Leadership Camp: Day-5

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Jun 172016
 
Final Staff Leadership training at Camp Herms

Final Staff Leadership training at Camp Herms

Day-5 of Leadership Training at NYLT

This is Day-5 of the first week of our National Youth Leadership Training course. This is the day they start to put it all together. They learn the best leadership skill – how to lead themselves as they prepare to hike out to their outpost campsite.

What does it mean to lead yourself?

• We often think of a leader as the person out front. The senior patrol leader. The guide. The crew chief showing people the way.
• In leading others, we have a greater responsibility than just to ourselves.
• But before we can lead others well, we need to be able to lead ourselves.
•For now, let’s boil down leading ourselves to answering three questions:
1. Where am I now?
2. Where do I want to be?
3. How do I close the gap between where I am now and where I want to be?

Outpost Leadership

Each patrol puts it all together by locating their outpost campsite and spending the night at a team. So we will have 87 participants camping out in the wilderness.

How National Youth Leadership Training works

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this NYLT course at Camp Wolfeboro.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program.

For More Information: Boy ScoutsMt. Diablo Silverado Council, Wiki
Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the second week of NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

What’s happening @ National Youth Leadership Training: Day-4

 General  Comments Off on What’s happening @ National Youth Leadership Training: Day-4
Jun 162016
 
Staff Leadership training at Camp Herms

Staff Leadership training at Camp Herms – Ethics

Day-4 of Leadership Training – Ethics

This is Day-4 (Ethics) of the first week of our National Youth Leadership Training course. Today the participants are learning how to teach others, resolve conflicts and make ethical decisions.

The Leadership of the Teaching Edge

Explaining: It clarifies the subject for the learner AND for the instructor.

Demonstrating: It allows learners to see as well as hear how something is done.

Guiding: It allows learners to learn by doing.

Enabling: It allows learners to use the skills themselves.

Conflict Resolution Leadership

Even with the best leadership, there are bound to be occasional difficulties between two people, between groups of people, or between one person and a number of others. The signs of trouble brewing may be small—someone becoming withdrawn and quiet, for example. Or the signs may be obvious—shouting, high levels of emotion, etc.

If you are a patrol leader or senior patrol leader, you may be in an official role in which you are expected to step in to resolve a conflict. Or you may simply want to help a couple of your friends work through a disagreement.

Leadership Making Ethical Decisions

If the key element of the mission statement of the BSA is “make ethical choices,” that must be mighty important—so important that we spend plenty of time exploring what it means.

How National Youth Leadership Training works

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this NYLT course at Camp Wolfebor.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program.

For More Information: Boy ScoutsMt. Diablo Silverado Council, Wiki
Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the second week of NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

What’s happening at NYLT Camp Wolfeboro Today: Day-3 [More Leadership]

 General  Comments Off on What’s happening at NYLT Camp Wolfeboro Today: Day-3 [More Leadership]
Jun 152016
 
Leadership Training

Staff Leadership training

Day-3 National Youth Leadership Training

This is Day-3 of the first week of our National Youth Leadership Training course. Today they are spending more time on team development, problem solving as a team and how to be servant leaders. Breaking this down:

Leadership Team Development

“A team is a group of people who share a common vision. They work together to complete goals that will help them realize their shared vision. They support and depend on one another.”

PHASES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT

One of the most valuable things to know about teams is that they progress through stages. It’s happening to your patrol right now.

Recognize which stage a team is in—whether it’s a patrol or some other team—and you will have a much better idea of how to move it forward. You can be a far more effective member of the team.

The development of a team occurs in a series of four clear stages:

• Forming
• Storming
• Norming
• Performing

Problem Solving as a Leadership Skill

What happens when things don’t go according to the plan? What does an individual or a group do when roadblocks slow progress toward a goal? Lead the group to this answer:

Problem solving is what you must do when your plan no longer works.

1. Figure out WHAT is causing the problem.
2. Figure out HOW to solve the problem.
3. Figure out WHEN to solve the problem.
4. Figure out WHO will take responsibility.

Servant Leadership

Servant Leaders do not begin with a desire to lead but rather with the desire to serve others.

How National Youth Leadership Training works

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this course of NYLT at Camp Wolfeboro.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program

For More Information: Boy ScoutsMt. Diablo Silverado Council, Wiki
Ken_Strongman_003smAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the second week of NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.

What’s happening at NYLT Camp Wolfeboro Today: Day-2 – Leadership

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Jun 142016
 

Camp Wolfeboro Closing – Staff

What’s happening at NYLT Camp Wolfeboro Today: Day-2 – Leadership

This is Day-2 of the first week of our National Youth Leadership Training course. The day is filled with more learning how set goal; learn how to function as a team; and how to lead a Scout Worship service. The 18 youth staff is busy teaching the 87 participants different leadership skills.

I’m privileged to be the Scoutmaster/Course Director for this  NYLT Course at Camp Wolfeboro.  National Youth Leadership Training (NYLT) is the leadership development training offered by the Boy Scouts of America. It is intended to provide standardized, in-depth training covering a number of leadership ideas and skills.

NYLT is run by youth leaders under adult supervision. The Senior Patrol Leader (SPL) runs course meetings and events, chairs meetings of the team leaders’ meeting, delegates duties to other youth staff, assists the Scoutmaster, models the learning and leadership skills, and recruits participants. The youth staff is trained in presenting, coaching, and mentoring, enabling them to conduct the program

For more info: National Youth Leadership Training
Ken Strongman, MediatorAbout the Author: Besides being Scoutmaster/Course Director of the second week of NYLT and a Silver Beaver recipient, Ken Strongman (www.kpstrongman.com) has years of experience and a growing national reputation as a mediator and arbitrator. He has successfully resolved more than a thousand disputes in the fields of construction defects, real estate, intellectual property, and employment. He is also a Mediator and Arbitrator for FINRA.
© 2016 Ken Strongman. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or repost without permission.